The Gifted Fund

Vanessa A. Becker

USDF Region 6

A Journey Towards Connection

It is less than 48 hours now, before I leave. I am truly ecstatic! It is as though I am 10 years old again, waiting to go to summer horse camp, filled with the excitement and anticipation of a new journey. I have been busy preparing for weeks. Between getting an international health certificate for my horse, making sure I have "presentable" breeches (vs. the scary full seats that are just barely hanging on to life) and of course all the details with work, I have been consumed with "getting ready" for my trip to Canada to study dressage.

Oh, to study dressage. Just to say it sounds luxurious! I was lucky enough to be a recipient of the Gifted Fund and have been planning my trip to Canada to study with Lorraine Chappell for months. I am grateful to have my regular trainer, Debbie Evans, accompanying me, with her Grand Prix horse and her up and coming 4 y/old. Just Debbie and I are going with the 3 horses. It will be as though I'm at camp again, surrounded with other horse crazy people for a whole week!

The week leading up to this is has been utterly chaotic. Preparing to leave the 24-hour crisis agency that I run is no small task. Gratefully, I have fabulous staff that has also supported me in this journey. They were almost as excited to see me walk out the door on Friday as I was to leave! As I left, I was reminded of the John Lennon song "I get by with a little help from my friends." Without the support of my family, staff, trainer and the Dressage Foundation, Monday would be just another day at work!

Sunday, February 13th, 2005

I am finally packed! The color coded Tupperware dinners are all packed tightly in the refrigerator for the husband, the polo wraps are clean and rolled, the leather shiny and Chamira, well….relatively clean, her legs anyhow. All that white is difficult to get clean this time of year and a bath was just too much in the cold weather. She got a new blanket for the occasion, so I'd like to think she's as happy as a bug in a rug. But, she could really care less I'm sure.

So, as I have prepared the details of my departure, I have contemplated the meaning of this trip. So much has floated around in my head. As I have tried to articulate the passion and love I have for dressage to those who ask "what ARE you going to do in Canada with your horse??" I have realized that "Dressage" is a journey. On this journey, I seek connection. Connection with my horse, connection with those who are farther along in their journey, connection with myself as I challenge my own athleticism. Let the journey begin, I can hardly wait!

This journey and desire for connection is found in much of my life, not just in Dressage. My professional work with victims of domestic violence and sexual assault is about rebuilding connections with those that you can trust. It's a sensitive and complicated process. As a professional whose job is to empower victims to find their power, strength and voice, I must also find these very attributes with my trusty 4 legged companion Chamira.

That is our major goal this upcoming week. To learn to better connect, increase the steadiness of my connection of my seat, hand and leg to Chamira to enable to her to increase the power of her hind end. Furthermore, I hope to increase the quality of our 2nd level movements and absorb knowledge from 2 horses masters, Debbie Evans and Lorraine Chappell.

I'm off to bed, although I don't think sleep will come easily tonight with my level of anticipation and excitement!

Monday, February 14th, 2005

We made it! 5:00 am came early as we had to get to the barn at 7:15 and the hour drive to the barn made it an early morning. Thanks to my WONDERFUL husband, he drove me up and helped us get packed in the trailer.

The drive was uneventful other than getting lost when we got over the boarder. Thank goodness for cell phones! Between the calls to Lorraine and the barn owner, we figured it out.

The horses are staying at a reining barn which makes our warmbloods look like giants! They seemed happy in the clean open stalls and settled in quickly. We're not sure if we're going to stay there for our lessons or trailer to Lorraine's (just 5 minutes away) as the arena footing seems a little harder than we're used to.

We managed to find a tack store within 2 hours of crossing the boarder. It is right across the street from our hotel and we spent a good deal of time and money already. We went shopping before we even checked in to our room! Word has it that there are many tack stores here-I can hardly wait to go shopping!

Our lessons start at 1:30 tomorrow, I'm looking forward to it. Chamira seemed happy tonight.

Tuesday, February 15th, 2005

We started the day by getting coffee and going to Lorraine's to watch her work some horses. She has a beautiful place and watching her work different levels of horses is so interesting and educational. I really admire how both her and Debbie request a lot but reward even more, talk to the horses and are so secure and strong yet supple in their bodies. I can really see how focused yet compassionate and empathetic they are, its so excited being among such wonderful horsewomen!

I spent some time this morning talking with Debbie about my goals for the week before we met Lorraine for lessons. We had quite a setback last fall when Chamira had to have 3+months off for healing of a chronic check ligament injury. When we brought her back, she was less than thrilled with getting back to work and we have had a few months of sometimes sticky rides.

With all fairness, Chamira has always been a dominant mare which can make her rather difficult at times. I knew this about her when I bought her at 2 ½. I'm sure she'd say the same about me as we are both alpha mare types. Strong willed yet sensitive, bold, athletic but sometimes doubtful of our own athleticism, we dislike chaos and we are both control freaks! Makes for some interesting rides sometimes! But, for all our faults, we are bonded to one another and I like to think Chamira is just as open to our journey as I am.

At any rate, we've had a setback in our training and are just getting back to really progressing in our training again. Our focus this week will continue to be getting a better connection over her topline and me with my position so I can support her in this connection. We may continue to play with 2nd level movements, but Debbie and I agree our focus should continue to be basics as she's got the "tricks down" already.

Lorraine agreed. We worked on warming Chamira's back up, my position and simple figures to get her more over her back. As usual for the first day of a new place, she was tense and more interested in exploring things than actually working. I went immediately into "you better do this" mode, which of course, wasn't positive so we worked on being in charge but not emotional. It was very helpful. It's so funny how us dressage riders can get so intense! Lorraine reminded me that "every horse has a solution" and that we would focus on finding some new solutions this week. Our ride ended well, Chamira relaxed her back and we worked on using my elbows more effectively to allow her connection. I look forward to tomorrow's ride!

Wednesday, February 16th, 2005

Debbie and I started out today by going to Lorraine's again and watching her work some horses. We then made our trek to one of British Colombia's most well known tack shop, the Dog and Pony Shop. It was like a Mecca for us as we only have 3 tack stores worth mentioning in the entire state of Oregon! My husband was gracious as he offered me his January bonus from work to spend-isn't he just great?! J

While there, in our buying frenzy, I noticed a poster of Carol Lavell in the dressing room. I took a moment to remind myself why I was here and who made it possible.

We made it back for a lesson at 2:30. We had another ride that ended well. We shortened my stirrups significantly which has helped with my position. I tend to lean back against the cantle a bit and stiffen my elbows, which causes Chamira to brace and then lean. So, just the simple stirrup length change helped. We practiced downward transitions as she tends to get slow behind and lose her back. Although tedious, I was excited about the few good ones I got! We still had a few spells or "battle of the wills" as we call it between the alpha mares (Chamira & I). Most were caused by my clash of aids, she is just so sensitive! But, when I got it right, she was happy to oblige. I am grateful to have Chamira teaching me to be a better rider, I just love her so much.

We also practiced sitting lighter on her back and using slight weight aids to aid in bending. By using my knees and thighs a little differently, I was able to really influence the swing in her back. We talked about using her sensitivity to our advantage as I am just required to whisper an aid and she'll get it. Unfortunately, I've always had horses that I had to scream aids to-so this is new for me! I'm learning so much!

Thursday, February 17th, 2005

We started the day again with our newly created ritual, coffee, to Lorraine's then to the reining barn for our lessons. We watched her work her mare Whitney and another gelding schooling 3/4th level. I really find that I get a lot just from watching people work their horses at home. Consistency, asking for a lot but rewarding often and strong positions are messages I see and get every day in my lessons and by watching Lorraine.

After some discussion, Lorraine decided to warm Chamira up today to see how she felt under saddle. Although I've taken clinics with Lorraine several times, this was the first time she rode Chamira. After Chamira's initial challenge of the new rider (which she always does), she was like butter in Lorraine's hands. Chamira was just begging to do things for her, it was beautiful and her softness, submission and the improved cadence in her gaits nearly brought me to tears.

I then rode for another 30 minutes and we again practiced my position. Today, we focused on my shoulders as they tend to creep forward which then makes my hands less then independent from my seat. Chamira then interprets this as chaos, which can lead to less than synergistic rides. We also worked on the light seat and reminding myself not to take my leg off when she reacts but instead wrapping it around her for security.

We had a long discussion about Chamira & her personality, ability and training after our ride. She confirmed much of what Debbie and I know about Chamira and supported our course of training. It was excellent to have the support and continued guidance from someone who has so much experience. I am so grateful to be here.

Friday, February 18th, 2005

The weather is still holding out for us! It is bright and sunny, a bit cold but it is beautiful up here! Chamira & her travel mates met the resident mini donkey today. We also had another good lesson.

Today we focused on me getting the feel of Chamira's loosing balance before it gets too bad. We also continued to focus on my position and how it's influencing Chamira's suppleness, swing and attitude. Although I've "gotten her back" several times in my riding, it was quite an exciting time today when after a spell or two of arguing, I got my position right and Lorraine screamed "YOU GOT HER BACK, DO YOU FEEL THAT??!!!" It was a big celebration. Sounds silly, but this was the first time I can recall getting it by just adjusting my position slightly and passively, instead of screaming it at her with my legs and hands. It was GREAT!

We also went to dinner for the second time this week with Lorraine and her husband Mac. We talked about horses, dressage, training, alpha mares (of the horse and human type! J ), Lorraine's international experience and the Canadian team. She talked some of Canada's new Dressage team coach and her plans for the coming years. When she makes it to the Olympics, I'll be happy to say that it couldn't happen to a nicer person. She has the integrity, professionalism, drive, passion, talent and love of the horse that every Olympic and international athlete should have.

Saturday, February 19th, 2005

Today was our last lesson! The time has gone so fast! It was fitting that it was our best ride yet. We worked thru our daily challenge the rider spell in a minute flat, and then she was like butter. Chamira was supple, soft, willing, submissive and most important, willing to give her back. It was GREAT! I felt stronger in my core and position than I ever have. We were having such a great and productive time that we played with some canter work. Our canter work has always been difficult as I really have to keep her on my seat instead of letting her blast through me. It was the best canter I think I've ever had with her.

I finished our ride elated and I think both Chamira & I were proud of our accomplishments of the week.

Now we're off to pack up as we're leaving bright and early tomorrow morning.

Sunday, February 20th, 2005

We made it home safely. As I finish this last journal entry I am reminded of my initial hope, that I would experience a better "connection" with Chamira and to absorb knowledge of two incredible horse women. I have definitely succeeded in progressing toward a better connection with my horse, my body and riding and with two women who are willing to share so much about their journey in dressage.

My week in Canada was more than I ever would have expected. I feel invigorated, renewed in my passion and love of this sport and of course my horse. I am so grateful for all that helped me succeed this week.

Thanks to Carol Lavell and the Dressage Foundation for giving me this opportunity. Thanks also to Susan Kalina for her encouragement to apply for the grant, and of course my family and friends at home who held the fort down in my absence. Thank you to Debbie Evans, my trainer extraordinaire, who was not only a companion and friend this week, but who continues to be an inspiration and support in this sometimes difficult sport. Thank you to Lorraine for her support, guidance and incredible instruction during the week. It was incredible.